The Case of the Pyjama day
My son had a pyjama day at school on Friday. I usually fetch him to attend Friday prayers with me, so he asked me to bring his robe to wear over his pjs when we went.
I forgot.
When I arrived, he refused to go inside. “It’s embarrassing,” he said.
I tried reasoning with him - told him his pyjamas looked like a tracksuit, that no one would even notice. His older brother backed me up. No luck.
I even tried super coach mode and asked, “What’s the worst that could happen?”
He paused the sobbing for a second and I thought: "I love coaching questions" but then he said, “I don’t know… but it’s embarrassing. You go. I’m staying [in the car].”
Eventually, after some convincing and a small compromise - praying in an area where there weren’t many others - he agreed to come inside.
But that short exchange stuck with me.
When embarrassment leads the way
It reminded me how often the fear of embarrassment stops us in our tracks - as adults just as much as children.
We worry about looking foolish, getting it wrong, being judged. So we hold back. We edit ourselves. We blend in instead of showing up.
And when we do, we miss opportunities: to connect, to contribute, to grow.
For a seven-year-old, “It’s embarrassing” might feel like reason enough. For us adults, though, it’s worth sitting with the question:
What’s the worst that could really happen?
Often, the honest answer is: not much. A moment of awkwardness perhaps. A bruise to the ego. Maybe a learning moment. But very rarely the catastrophe we imagine.
Holding space for discomfort
This moment with my son reminded me of the Hold step in my Becoming Unapologetically You framework. Hold is about staying present in the tension between fear and fact: noticing what’s happening inside before reacting or running away.
It’s giving yourself permission to feel the discomfort, to examine it instead of obeying it. Because feelings like embarrassment, fear or shame are just signals. They’re data, not directives.
When we hold instead of hide, we give ourselves the space to get curious:
Why am I embarrassed?
What story am I telling myself about what others will think?
What if that story isn’t true?
That’s how we start to loosen embarrassment’s grip.
Harnessing the moment
And from Hold, we move to Harness. Because once we recognise that the feeling of embarrassment is just a signal, we can use it. We can turn the same energy that once froze us into courage. Courage to take the next step anyway.
That’s what being unapologetically you looks like in practice. It’s not about pretending fear doesn’t exist. It’s about walking in despite its existence, even if it means praying in a quieter corner at first. In that moment, my son found a small compromise. For adults, harnessing often looks the same — not ignoring the fear, but finding a way to act through it.
Final reflection
So here’s your invitation this week:
Where might you be letting embarrassment dictate your choices?
What’s one thing you’d do if you stopped worrying about how it may look?
And could you, even for a moment, hold the discomfort long enough to discover what’s really underneath it?
Because sometimes the bravest thing we can do is show up and take the Next Step… even in our metaphorical pyjamas.
