Choosing from what matters

Every day, we make decisions. Some are small and almost automatic. Turn left or turn right. Blue shirt or black. Chicken or fish.

Others carry more weight. To commit or not. To do what’s right or what’s easy. To face discomfort or remain stuck. To speak up or stay silent. To help or to look away.

What I’ve been noticing lately is this: most of us don’t struggle with making decisions because we lack information. We struggle because we lack clarity about what we’re deciding from.

This week, across several conversations, I saw the same pattern repeat itself.

People who had the information. Who understood their options. Who often knew, deep down, what the best decision was at the time. And yet, they froze. Or they reacted too quickly, without allowing the reflective parts of their thinking to catch up. In other cases, decisions were made confidently, but without all the facts.

It dawned on me that decision-making isn’t just about intelligence or experience. It’s about clarity.

Values as a decision-making compass
In every organisation I’ve worked in, one of the first questions I ask is deceptively simple: what are your values? Not the ones on the wall. Not the ones buried in the intranet.

But the ones that actually show up in how people behave, what gets rewarded and what gets tolerated. Values are the criteria by which decisions are made, whether consciously or not. They shape priorities, boundaries and trade-offs.

The same is true for individuals. When we understand what we value, what we stand for and what we are unwilling to compromise on, decision-making becomes clearer. Not necessarily easier, but clearer. Values don’t remove tension. They give it structure.

If learning and curiosity matter to me, I do myself a disservice by choosing environments that punish initiative or discourage growth. If kindness and empathy sit high on my list, there are roles and contexts that simply won’t align, no matter how attractive they look on paper.

When we don’t know ourselves
What I’ve been observing more and more is how many of us don’t actually know ourselves very well. Without that self-knowledge, we become reactive. Like leaves in the wind, adjusting direction based on pressure, urgency or whoever is loudest in the moment. Decisions get outsourced to circumstance.

But when we know our values, our principles, our strengths and even our energy-drainers, we move differently. We’re no longer perfect decision-makers, but we are more grounded ones.

A significant side-step
Just over a week ago, we witnessed an act of cruelty at a beach in Sydney. Innocent people killed for their beliefs. Across the globe, similar atrocities continue to unfold, often justified by ideology, fear or dehumanisation.

At their core, these are failures of values. Decisions made without regard for human dignity. Judgement calls divorced from empathy. These may seem far removed from our day-to-day choices, but they sit on the same spectrum. The same mechanisms are at play. When values are warped, ignored or overridden, the consequences scale.

A quieter decision
As I write this, I’m sitting in an aircraft awaiting take-off. I’m heading to see my parents.

It wasn’t the most convenient time. It wasn’t the most logical moment to step away. But it is the right one. Because for me, family, presence and showing up when it matters aren’t negotiable values.

They don’t always make decisions easier. But they do make them clearer. And that clarity brings a kind of peace, even when the trade-offs are real. 

Taking the next step
Decision-making isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about knowing what you’re anchored to. When values are clear, decisions become less about optimisation and more about alignment. Less about certainty and more about integrity.

Sometimes the next step isn’t the most efficient one. Sometimes it’s simply the most honest.

A pause before you move on
If this resonates, take a moment to pause. Not to rush into a decision, but to notice what you’re deciding from.

What values are guiding your current choices? Which ones are being compromised? And what would change if alignment, rather than convenience, led the way?

Sometimes clarity doesn’t come from thinking more. It comes from taking the next honest step.