The dent in my car door and real leadership
Our family car has a long, ugly scratch and dent along the driver’s door. There will be no discussion about who was driving or how shopping centre pillars sneak up on you when you’re not looking.
Instead, what’s interesting is how often people tell me — sometimes with great concern — that I really should get it fixed. It’s as if the presence of a dent somehow invalidates the entire vehicle.
But here’s the thing: the car works. Perfectly. It gets us from A to B. School runs still happen, groceries get collected, commutes are completed. The paint’s not pierced, so there’s no risk of rust. It does its job.
So I smile and nod at the suggestions… and carry on.
More than meets the eye
It got me thinking: there’s a kind of symmetry between how we treat things like a scratched car, and how we treat people — including ourselves. We live in a world that values polish. We’re rewarded for looking the part, saying the right things, keeping up appearances — even when what’s beneath the surface is struggling. And so we pour energy into the cosmetic fixes: smoothing the dents, covering the flaws, polishing what doesn’t need polishing.
But in life, in leadership, and in the work that really matters, it’s not the cosmetic stuff that keeps us going. It’s the engine under the hood, the tyres on the road. The values that drive us. The clarity of purpose. The capacity to keep moving forward even when things don’t look perfect from the outside.
Fix what matters
Now, don’t get me wrong — just this morning, I checked the tyres' pressure and made sure they were not in need of rotation or replacement. Maintenance is important. Sometimes, things do need repair.
But we should ask: are we fixing what matters, or just what’s visible? Tyres - yes. A non-threatening ugly scratch, not so.
In leadership especially, it’s easy to get caught up in optics - "what we're seen to be doing". Crafting the perfect statement, designing the polished strategy deck, chasing external validation.
But real leadership is about function, not façade. It’s about holding steady when there’s pressure to perform. It’s about choosing alignment over appearance.
That dent on the car? It’s annoying, sure. But it doesn’t stop us from living life. And maybe it’s a reminder that not everything broken needs urgent fixing — especially if it’s still serving a purpose.
Case in point
Recently, I've been working with an organisation on a detailed analysis of their workforce needs. I had conducted all the interviews, read all the reports and analysed the organisational strategies. The report I've been compiling steps through the process and outcomes before it gets into the practical application and recommendations.
However, a sudden turn of events accelerated the need to consider the practical applications earlier than anticipated.
So, instead of presenting the full report with all the preamble to the leadership team, I summed that up in a couple of minutes and dove straight into the practical bits. The team appreciated the focus on what worked, not just what looked good.
Fake it till we make it?
I’ve always hated the phrase “fake it till you make it.” It feels dishonest — like we’re being asked to polish the outside while quietly panicking inside. And while failure and growth are buzzwords in many leadership spaces, the truth is not every environment makes room for that kind of honesty.
That’s why authentic leadership — the kind that values substance over style — matters. It creates space for others to be real, dents and all.
I touched on this idea in an earlier post, “Showing strength by being vulnerable” — a reflection on how quiet strength often keeps things moving behind the scenes. [LINK]
Not everything needs polishing
So here’s the question I keep returning to: Where are we pouring energy into fixing things that aren’t actually broken?
And what might happen if we focused instead on fuelling what’s already working — even if it doesn’t look perfect?
At Next Step Leadership, I help teams and individuals focus on what really matters — cutting through noise, pressures and polish to lead from a place of clarity and authenticity. Because the real work of leadership isn’t always about fixing dents. It’s about keeping the wheels turning and the engine running — even when the outside gets a little banged up.
It’s not always glamorous, but it works. And it builds the kind of trust you can’t fake - and you won't need to either.
