What two young people taught me about holding back
I didn’t post a blog item last week. Not because I was too busy, or uninspired or overwhelmed - though I tried to convince myself of those things. I didn’t post because I felt I didn’t have anything insightful to offer. Nothing polished enough. Nothing meaningful enough.
But that realisation became the insight.
It made me confront something I’ve wrestled with quietly for years: that my perfectionism may actually be holding me back, and that somewhere along the way, I absorbed a belief that unless something meets my internal standards, it isn’t worth sharing at all.
And then two things happened: I met two young people in two separate moments and they taught me one unexpected lesson.
Moment 1: The question that seemed too simple
The first came in a coaching conversation with a young person who is dedicated, hungry for beneficial knowledge and genuinely wants to make a meaningful difference in the world.
They asked a question - one that felt so basic, so obvious to me, that I almost dismissed its significance. But I answered it fully anyway. They shared how insightful and impactful it was for them and I realised:
My lived experience has taught me things I now take for granted.
What feels simple, automatic or “nothing special” to me might be exactly what someone else needs. Their effort, sincerity and thirst for growth deserved to be met with whatever I had to offer… even if I thought it was small.
Moment 2: The choice to do nothing
The very next day, I encountered another young person. A young, healthy, educated, fed, safe individual whose priority seemed to be: relax as much as possible, avoid effort and do nothing if they could help it.
And I’ll be honest, it rubbed me the wrong way. Not because I don’t believe in rest (although, admittedly, it's an area I need more err… work on). But because this attitude stood in direct contrast to my own deepest values: work hard, strive for excellence and contribute something meaningful to the world.
And suddenly, there it was:
one young person striving to learn, grow and serve
another choosing disengagement and comfort
and me, somewhere in the middle - wanting to serve, but withholding value because it didn’t feel “good enough”.
The irony was both painful and clarifying.
The hard truth: Not sharing isn’t humility - it’s holding back
Here I was, hesitating to put something into the world because I felt it wasn’t polished enough… while at the same time feeling frustrated with someone else who wasn’t putting anything into the world because they simply couldn’t be bothered.
In both cases, the result was the same:
Potential going unused. Value not shared. Growth that didn’t happen.
I realised something I needed to hear myself say out loud:
“We don’t get to decide which parts of our experience are valuable for others. We only get to decide whether we share them.”
Sometimes the insight someone needs isn’t the profound one. Sometimes it’s the small one. The one you almost didn’t say. The one you dismissed as obvious, simple or unpolished.
Final thought
If you’ve been waiting for the perfect moment, the perfect idea, the perfect version of yourself… here’s your reminder: You don’t need perfection. You need willingness.
There are people out there who are trying. People hungry to learn. People quietly hoping for the very insight you’re withholding because you don’t think it’s enough.
And to those who give little or nothing of themselves to the world, know that your potential is sitting there, waiting to be awakened.
Share what you have. Even if it feels small. Even if it feels unfinished. Even if it feels obvious.
Because it might be exactly what someone else needs to inspire their Next Step.
