Being you: the most important job you have
Being you is the most important job you have. Think about it: there’s no one else in the world who can do it. And yet, it’s often the thing we spend very little time focusing on. We spend our lives learning how to fit into systems, meet expectations and play various roles: employee, parent, friend, citizen - all valuable roles, but often at the expense of the one role that matters most: being ourselves. We get really good at being everything to everyone else, but somewhere along the way, we start losing touch with who we really are.
The irony is, the one thing we’re uniquely qualified to do - to be ourselves - is the thing we most often postpone.
The inner barrier: the voice that distracts
A client recently shared this when reflecting on their state at the start of coaching: "Wow, I didn’t realise how stuck I had become, in trying to conform, and through this, essentially giving up my authenticity and who I am as a person and leader."
Like my client, inside each of us lives a voice that doesn’t want us to stretch too far. It sounds reasonable, protective even: “You’re not ready.” “Who do you think you are?” "What if I upset people?"
We want to believe that this voice is wisdom, care, responsibility. But it's none of these - it’s fear. And the closer you get to your purpose, the louder it grows. Because stepping into who you were always meant to be threatens the status quo - both inside you and around you.
That voice isn’t your enemy though, it’s a signal. It tells you that growth is happening because every meaningful transformation starts with a whisper of resistance and that whisper grows louder and louder as you become more focused on aligning with your true self.
The outer barrier: systems that resist change
It's helpful to know that not all resistance comes from within. The reality is that any system that benefits the wealthy and powerful will always protect itself. That’s true of politics, business, education and even the subtle social systems we live within every day. These systems are designed to maintain comfort and control. They reward conformity and punish authenticity, because when people start thinking freely, speaking up and living on purpose, the power dynamic shifts. That’s why it often feels like the world pushes back hardest when you start to rise. It’s not coincidence. It’s confirmation.
My client's wise words summed it up beautifully: "Diversity is often celebrated outwardly by organisations, by leaders, however, often, when it comes to the ‘reality’, that is not what is ‘lived, experienced and felt’" When DE&I work is driven by a superficial understanding, it becomes a tick-box exercise, acknowledging difference without appreciating it.
The unlock: coaching and conscious courage
This is where genuine coaching can be transformative. True coaching isn’t about giving advice or fixing people. It’s about unlocking the potential that already lies within us. It's helping you see what’s been buried under years of doubt, habit or expectation. Coaching helps you separate the inner critic from your inner compass. It creates space to hear your own voice again. That voice that’s been whispering all along: “This is who you really are.”
The Arabic word for this is fitrah, most closely translated as our original, natural state in which we've been created. That alignment to what we were always meant to be becomes clearer when we take the time to question ourselves deeply. My client had already done some of this reflection prior to our coaching and so had a head start. However, they admitted that despite having gained some clarity on their own, the coaching helped to give them the courage to rise, regardless (or maybe because) of the systems that resist. When coaching reconnects you to purpose, it fuels your confidence to act from authenticity, not approval.
The real test: congruence
Right now, I’m feeling this lesson deeply. My work contract has recently ended and I’ve made the decision to invest significantly in my business. In other words: to go all-in. It’s a big leap, but it feels aligned, congruent. And yet, the same voice that pushes others to stay safe whispers to me too. “Maybe just wait.” “Play it safe.” And what I’ve learned through my own and others' experience is that voice never goes away. You just get better at recognising it for what it is: fear dressed as reason.
As a coach, it's easier to recognise that voice in others. When it comes from within, there's hearing and then there's listening. Because being congruent with what I help others with means I too, need to hear what those whispers are telling me, acknowledging it, realising that I'm on the right path and forging ahead. One step at a time.
Final reflection
The beautiful thing about being you is that it's not a destination; it’s a daily decision. It’s about persistence, not perfection. Consistency, not comparison. Congruency, not criticism.
So here’s your challenge (and mine):
Where in your life are you playing someone else's role instead of living your truth?
What resistance or barrier (inner or outer) is asking you to grow through it?
And what would it look like if you went all-in on becoming you?
Let me remind you that being yourself isn’t selfish. It’s sacred work and you are the only one in the entire universe that can fill that role. The world doesn’t need more versions of “them”, it needs a braver version of you. Let's do this!
