Who's Watching You?
Social media can be both a blessing and a curse. It’s a great way to keep in touch, especially when friends and family are scattered across different locations and time zones. It’s also a powerful business-building and engagement tool. But it can just as easily become a black hole — one that pulls us into endless scrolling, liking, reeling, and even, dare I say, trolling.
For business owners, like me, one of the biggest pitfalls of social media is measuring success by likes, comments, or shares. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that low engagement means no one is paying attention. I was reminded of this recently when an old friend and former colleague reached out to thank me for one of my posts. He told me it had come at just the right time for him. The interesting part? He had never reacted to any of my posts before — not a single like, comment, or share. Yet, he had been following my content all along. Neither have many of the people I sometimes run into who tell me, "I really enjoy your posts on such-and-such."
It made me think — who’s watching me? Not in a creepy, Big Brother way, but in the sense of: What am I putting out into the world that I’m not even aware is being noticed? Who is being influenced by my words and actions, even when I have no idea they’re paying attention?
And that’s the thing — our impact isn’t always visible, but that doesn’t mean it’s not there.
We don’t know who we’re influencing - for better or worse
This isn’t just about social media. Think about it: Have you ever picked up a habit, a mindset, or even a catchphrase from someone who didn’t even know they were influencing you? Maybe it was a leader at work, a teacher, a coach, or even a stranger whose words stuck with you. As parents, how many times do we hear our parents' words coming out of our mouths?
Every day, in every interaction, we are leaving an impression on people — whether we realise it or not.
Likewise, others are picking up on what we say and do. It could be a colleague noticing our work ethic, a child observing how we handle stress, or a friend who sees the way we navigate challenges. Whether consciously or unconsciously, we are setting an example.
When I tell people I offer leadership coaching and development services, they often respond with something about how they don't see themselves as "leaders". I challenge their thinking because I believe, in the words of John Maxwell: "Leadership is influence". And we are always influencing someone. We never know who is quietly observing, taking in something we say or do, and allowing it to shape their own thoughts, behaviours, or decisions.
And here’s the catch — we don’t always get to choose which moments leave an impact — whether it's a display of courage or a lapse in frustration. We don’t control who remembers what. But we do control how we show up.
How we show up matters
It’s easy to think of leadership, influence, or impact as something that happens in grand, defining moments. But the truth is, how we show up every single day — at work, at home, at college, on the sports field, in casual conversations — shapes not only how others see us but also who we become.
Are we consistent in our values? Do we practice what we preach? Do we bring the same energy, integrity, and effort when no one is watching as we do when we’re in the spotlight? Because the reality is, someone is always watching. It might not be in the form of a visible audience or measurable engagement, but the impact is there.
If not for others, at least for ourselves
The way we carry ourselves daily isn’t just about those around us — it’s also about us. Even if we stripped away the idea of influencing others, there’s still one person we can’t escape: ourselves.
We might be able to fool people with carefully curated social media posts or well-rehearsed words, but deep down, we know who we really are. We know when we’re cutting corners, making excuses, or not living up to our own standards.
So before anyone else holds us to account, we should be holding ourselves to account. Not in a way that leads to self-criticism or guilt, but in a way that keeps us aligned with the kind of person we truly want to be.
Every day, we get a choice: Will we show up with integrity? Will we commit to growth, even when no one is watching? Will we be the kind of person we’d admire if the roles were reversed?
So what now?
What kind of example are you setting? How are you showing up? Are you showing up in a way that aligns with your values? Have you ever realised you were impacting someone without knowing it?
I’d love to hear your thoughts — share them in the comments or send me a message!
And if this resonated with you, share it with someone who might need this reminder today. You never know who’s watching and how much they might need to hear this.
If you want to explore how to be more intentional in how you show up — whether in leadership, work, or just life generally — let’s talk. Book a free chat here: complimentary strategy session.
