When the Whistle Blows: Integrity On and Off the Field
It was a close game.
We were chasing a win. And then - bam! One of the opposition players went down. From where I stood, it looked serious. Like he’d hurt himself badly. Out of instinct and sportsmanship, I called to our teammate with the ball: “Kick it out!” so the guy could get attention. Another team member yelled something but I didn’t catch it at the time. The injured player eventually got up, and we played on.
Post-match.
The guy who had shouted earlier came up to me and said, “Bro, you got played. That guy was milking it. You let them off the hook.” Then, half-joking, he added: “You don’t always have to be the martyr, you know.”
It was meant in passing… But it stuck. Maybe even stung.
The game within the game
It made me think: when is doing the right thing actually the right thing? When does integrity make you noble and when does it just make you naive?
Was I being principled… Or just predictable?
In grassroots footy (where we're all playing for the Champions League title, of course) there’s this blurry line between clever play and dodgy tactics. But that line? It shifts, depending on who you ask.
For some, it's about doing whatever it takes to win. For others, it's about respecting the spirit of the game. And maybe, just maybe, it’s the same in life.
Integrity in the day job
Not long after that match, I was part of a leadership kōrero (conversation) about integrity in the public sector. Not as a buzzword but as a fundamental value we’re meant to uphold. One comment stood out: “No amount of policy can uphold one’s integrity if it’s not what you truly believe in.”
This stuck with me because integrity isn’t just honesty. It’s deeper than that. It’s about alignment between the inner and the outer. It’s about consistency: showing up with the same values even when it’s inconvenient, even when it costs you, even when people roll their eyes and say, “Here we go again…”
Sounds a bit like being the “martyr” on the pitch, right?
We're whole people, not cakes that can be sliced up
Interestingly, this theme keeps showing up. During a recent 5-day challenge I’ve been running (on becoming more, not less, of you), a common thread emerged: We’re showing up in fragments. There’s:
The work version.
The home version.
The “safe” version.
The version who knows how to play the game and keep the peace.
And then… the real you. Who doesn’t get much airtime.
One participant said: “They didn’t hire all of me. Just the filtered-down version.” Wow, nailed it!
And here’s the thing, we weren’t made to live sliced up into palatable pieces. We're not a beautifully baked and shaped sponge cake. Real integrity means showing up whole. Not with arrogance but with humility and courage.
What game are you playing?
Maybe that football moment wasn’t just about a fake injury. Maybe it was a real-time leadership lesson.
Because every day, in offices, on fields, in conversations, we’re being asked to “play the game.” To take shortcuts. To stay silent. To compromise a little too much.
But every so often, something in you says: Kick the ball out. Even if it costs you.
Reflection
If any of this resonates, I want to leave you with a simple question: Where in your life are you being asked to ‘milk it’… instead of standing up?
If your answer makes you uncomfortable - good. That’s where the growth is. And if you’re exploring what it means to be more, not less, of yourself in every space you move through… Reach out. We’ve got a model that helps you walk that journey, one step at a time.
